Thursday, February 09, 2006

How To Clear Your Sinuses

Presented for your edification, following our household's weeklong Cold of Death (which appears to be receding, thank heavens): a method for clearing your head entirely of the icky goo, at least temporarily.

Take a Sudafed or other snot-eradicator of your preference. (I read a chapter of "Atlas Shrugged" aloud while beating a Democrat. Stops the sniveling every time!)

Wait about ten minutes for it to start to kick in.

Eat two huge bowls of really really hot chicken soup. (Or take a long, hot shower.) This liquifies all the snot in your system.

Have one absolutely enormous nose-blow session. Bring lots of Kleenex.

Result: Dry sinuses, snot all gone, two or three hours of blissful unclogged respiration.

4 comments:

mythago said...

The actual best way is to snort powdered wasabi. (A friend of mine actually did this. Not intentionally, I might add.)

Robert said...

My method involves less weeping and praying for death.

flint cordoroy said...

What is interesting about Atlas Shrugged is that every nation the United States as a trade surplus with has at least one of the following qualities: is More Socialized than us, has Higher Taxes, has more pervasive and or authoritarian government, less democracy, more trade barriers, less crime, more integration between government and industry for the pursuit of national interests, and/or etc etc etc.

And she was wrong about Soy Beans too.

flint cordoroy said...

interestingly enough Colorado owes its growth to massive military spending and government contracting. The fact that it is in the Mountains and subject to blizzards means it is less fuel-efficient to live there. And much of its growth is facilitated by white class white flighters good at working the system to get the big government contracts and DOT funding. Why are they moving to Colorado? To flee the places their ilk had already screwed up(California, New York).

Not surprisingly, Colorado and Colorado cities today face frequent fiscal insolvency.