Thursday, February 09, 2006

How To Clear Your Sinuses

Presented for your edification, following our household's weeklong Cold of Death (which appears to be receding, thank heavens): a method for clearing your head entirely of the icky goo, at least temporarily.

Take a Sudafed or other snot-eradicator of your preference. (I read a chapter of "Atlas Shrugged" aloud while beating a Democrat. Stops the sniveling every time!)

Wait about ten minutes for it to start to kick in.

Eat two huge bowls of really really hot chicken soup. (Or take a long, hot shower.) This liquifies all the snot in your system.

Have one absolutely enormous nose-blow session. Bring lots of Kleenex.

Result: Dry sinuses, snot all gone, two or three hours of blissful unclogged respiration.

2 comments:

mythago said...

The actual best way is to snort powdered wasabi. (A friend of mine actually did this. Not intentionally, I might add.)

Robert said...

My method involves less weeping and praying for death.